Speaking English: You and I (or is it You and Me?!?)

One of the most common mistakes when speaking English—even for native speakers!—is wrongly choosing between “You and I” and “You and me”. I’m going to break it down for you so that when you’re speaking English in conversation you’ll get it right each time.

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Video Transcript:

Me and David just checked into the hotel.

David and I just checked into the hotel.

David and me or David and I. Which one is right?

There’s a really common mistake in spoken English, but it’s an easy fix. Don’t worry. In this video, I’ve come to New York City with my husband, and we’re going to go over so many examples of when it should be ‘David and I’, and when it should be ‘me and David’. Also, notice each time I say this, there’s the word ‘and’. And notice it’s never pronounced and. It’s always pronounced [ən]. David and I. So today we’re also going to really study as a bonus the reduction of the word ‘and’ so that you have smooth and connected speech and a natural American accent.

I’m Rachel. I have a background in opera singing and I’ve been teaching the American accent to non-native speakers for over 20 years. Scan this QR code or go to rachelenglish.com/free to get my free course, The Top Three Ways to Master the American Accent. It will blow your mind. It will give you totally new ideas on how to get the sound you’ve always wanted.

First, let’s go over the basics of David and me or David and I. The name David never changes, but the pronoun me or I does change depending on the grammar. If it’s the subject, the person doing the action, then it’s ‘I’. I checked into the hotel. You’ll never hear me checked into the hotel. People only really mess up pronouns like this when we’re using ‘and’ and a name like David. So, you’ll probably never hear a native speaker say, ‘Me checked into a hotel.’ But you will definitely hear ‘Me and David checked into a hotel.’ But it’s not correct. Who’s doing the action here? Is it the hotel? No, it’s Rachel and David. We are the subjects, so it has to be I. I checked into the hotel. David and I checked into the hotel. My friend and I checked into the hotel. So remember subject of the sentence use I. Our other pronouns are as follows. You is the subject and the object. You gave me a dollar. I gave you a dollar. He is the subject and him is the object. He gave me a dollar. I gave him a dollar. She is the subject and her is the object. She gave me a dollar. I gave her a dollar.

For ‘it’, it’s both the subject and the object. It gave me a stomach ache. I gave it a second coat of paint. We is the subject and us is the object. They is the subject and them is the object. We gave them a dollar. They gave us a dollar.

Okay. Now, what about in this sentence? Which is right?

The hotel gave me and David an upgrade.

The hotel gave David and I an upgrade.

David and I or David and me. Who’s doing the action here? It’s the hotel. They’re giving the upgrade. So, David and I are receiving the action, we’re getting it. So, we’re now the object. The hotel gave me an upgrade. The hotel gave me and David an upgrade. We would never say, “The hotel gave David and I an upgrade.” This is grammatically incorrect. It has to be me and David because I’m the object here.

The hotel gave me and David an upgrade.

The hotel gave her an upgrade.

The hotel gave him an upgrade.

The hotel gave us an upgrade.

The hotel gave them an upgrade.

Okay, with what you’ve learned so far, pick the correct one for this sentence.

Are running late. Me and David or David and I?

Let’s take out David. Can we say, ‘Me is running late.’ Or ‘Me are running late.’? No, that’s not correct.

I am running late. So, it has to be ‘David and I are running late.’, not ‘Me and David are running late.’

My friend’s name is Audrey and she and I met when we sang together in the Bronx Opera Company years ago.

Let’s look at that sentence. My friend’s name is Audrey and she and I met when we sang together in the Bronx Opera Company. She and I or me and her or her and I.

Okay, first of all, her and I is never an option. These two should never go together because when it’s the subject, it’s I or she. When we’re talking about the object, it’s me or her. So, I can never do her and I together. She and I met when we sang together in the Bronx Opera Company. We are the subject of this sentence. She and I is correct.

My friend’s name is Audrey and she and I met when we sang together in the Bronx Opera Company years ago.

Bronx Opera hired she and I at the same time.

Bronx Opera hired her and I at the same time.

She and I. Her and I. Are either of these correct?

Do you remember what I just said? Her and I can never go together. So, that expression was incorrect. What about the first expression? Who’s the subject?

Bronx Opera hired she and I at the same time.

It’s Bronx Opera. Who’s the object? I am. Audrey is. The hiring was done to us. So, it needs to be her and me. Bronx Opera hired her. Bronx Opera hired me. Bronx Opera hired her and me at the same time.

And right now, David and I are on our way to meet my friend Lynne. Lynne also sang with us in the Bronx Opera.

‘David and I are on our way.’ Or, ‘Me and David are on our way.’ Which is right? Who’s doing the action? It’s David. It’s me. We are the subjects. So, the correct answer is David and I.

David is on his way. I’m on my way. David and I are on our way. Never ‘Me is on my way.’

Me and David think the light reflecting off these buildings is gorgeous.

Who’s doing the thinking, the subject? I think the light reflecting off this building is gorgeous. David thinks the light reflecting off this building is gorgeous. David and I think the light reflecting off this building is gorgeous. We are the subjects.

Me and David think the light reflecting off these buildings is gorgeous. Wait, me and David? David and I.

Before the show, David and I met up with my friend Lynne for dinner.

My friend Lynn and I just had dinner. Delicious. And Lynn and I both sang with Audrey in Bronx Opera. So, we’re so excited.

So long ago.

So long ago. Honestly, I’ll share some photos.

Um, but we’re so excited to go see her.

Yeah, we are.

Now, I’m talking about myself and Lynn. Again, we’re the subjects, so I use I. Lynn and I. And yes, I do have some photos.

This is me. This is Lynn. And this is Audrey. Notice I didn’t say this is I. In the phrase ‘This is me.’ Me is the object. Sometimes under a photo you’ll see something like ‘Me on a hike.’ It’s grammatically correct. It’s short for, ‘This is a picture of me on a hike.’ And I want to be clear, these kinds of mistakes happen all the time. Even I, someone who’s passionate about English and about grammar, make mistakes like this from time to time. For example, I noticed I made a mistake in this text to my aunt. David and I are the objects. The photo is of us. So, I should have said, “Here’s a picture of me and David a couple weekends ago.” I would never say, “Here’s a picture of I.” But when putting it with and in a name, mistakes can creep in.

My friend Lynn and I just had dinner.

Delicious.

And Lynn and I both sang with Audrey in Bronx Opera. Lynn and I first met in It was in Florida, right?

Yeah, in Florida.

You and Gabby?

Yes, Gabby.

Were living right next door to me and Holly.

Me and Holly. Is this correct? Lynn and Gabby are the subjects. Holly and I are the objects. We were the ones they were living by. So yes, Holly and me is correct. You and Gabby were living next to Holly and I. This is incorrect. You and Gabby were living next to me and Holly.

And you and Gabby.

Yes, Gabby. We’re living right next door to me and Holly.

David and I brought the train in today.

Mhm.

And the hotel gave me and David an upgrade.

Really?

No, they didn’t. But I just I was trying to use me and David as an object instead of a subject.

Okay. So, I was lying earlier when I said we got an upgrade. We didn’t, but it was a good way to make us the subject of the sentence. The hotel gave me and David an upgrade.

Do you have a nice view?

We do have a nice view, but that’s because I paid for it.

Okay, yeah. Well, that’s New York for you.

That’s New York for you. Yeah. No, it’s nice though. The thing about you.

Yeah.

Is you can use you as a subject or an object. I can say “You met me in Florida.” and then I can say “I met you in Florida.” But so you was the same in both of those, but I had to switch between I and me. I met you. You met me.

You met me.

Yes.

We met each other.

We met each other.

Yeah. And we’re still friends.

And we’re still friends all these years later. I wonder if I actually have photos from that year, that summer. I probably do.

I checked. I don’t have any photos from that summer. Okay, here’s a bonus. The pronunciation of grocery.

Well, there’s a grocery store we could probably.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Let’s just go in the grocery store.

You know what? Some people ask me about the word grocery.

How to say it?

Yeah. I say grocery. What do you say?

I do. I say grocery.

You do?

Grocery.

I can’t fit, Rachel.

I do. Okay, hold on.

There we go.

Okay.

You say, wait, you say what?

Groush or groce?

Groce.

And I say groce.

I think so. Groceries.

Grocery. No, I do not say that. I say grocery.

Grocery. I mean, I think I could also say that, but most of the time I think I say groush.

Huh.

Alright. Let’s find some nice flowers here.

We’ll do our best.

We’ll find flowers for her. Not for she, for her.

We’ll find flowers for her, for you, for him, for me. All objects.

I think she would like that. That’s pretty.

Alright, let’s do it.

Let’s go. We said let’s do it at the exact same time.

Alright, where’s checkout?

Here, here. Checkout.

Okay, perfect.

Good.

I feel good about showing up with this.

The price isn’t on it, does it?

Yeah, I think it is. Here. We’re meeting her in the lobby after. Did I tell you?

Your receipt?

Oh, thank you.

Okay, good.

She is meeting you and me. Not you and I.

Well, I touch that.

Oh, don’t forget your receipt Rachel.

That’s your receipt.

Oh, that’s mine. You’re right.

Lynne and I are meeting her. Her is the object. She, now the subject is meeting me and Lynn. Lynn and I are meeting her. She’s meeting me and Lynn.

Thank you.

Thank you. Oh, she’ll love that. She will. Not her.

She.

She’ll love it when we give them to her.

And we will enjoy giving them to her.

We will feel so good. It will make me and you feel wonderful when you and I give her the flower.

It will make me and you feel wonderful. We are the objects, the ones who receive the feeling of wonderful. When you and I give her the flowers. Now, for this part of the sentence, we’re switching to the subject. So, me changes to I. We’re the subjects, the ones doing the action of giving. When you and I give her flowers, it will make me and you feel wonderful.

Okay, quiz time. Take one more look at the graphic. Pronouns for subjects and pronouns for objects. There are seven questions here. Can you get a perfect score?

She thought that David and I went to the store.

She thought that me and David went to the store.

The structure of this sentence is a little bit confusing because David and I are not at the beginning and we usually think that the subject is at the beginning but actually this sentence has two different subjects. She and then the word that resets. So David and I are also subjects. She thought that David and I went to the store. David and I are the subjects of this part of the sentence.

So that’s why the correct answer is “She thought that David and I went to the store.”

Her and I used to work together.

She and I used to work together.

Me and Ginny left at 3.

Ginny and I left at 3.

My brother and I got into a big fight.

Me and my brother got into a big fight.         

Mom and I are leaving.

Me and mom are leaving.

They left David and I with the bill.

They left me and David with the bill.

They left when me and David got there.

They left when David and I got there.

This is sort of confusing. Just like the first sentence, David and I are not at the beginning of the sentence, but we’re the subjects of this part of the sentence. The word, when resets it. So, they is a subject, but David and I are also a subject. They left when David and I got there. David and I are the subject of this part of the sentence.

Hey, what score did you get? Put it in the comments below.

Don’t forget to check out rachelenglish.com/free to get my free course, The Top Three Ways to Master the American Accent.  

Keep your learning going now with this video and don’t forget to subscribe with notifications on. I love being your English teacher. That’s it and thanks so much for using Rachel’s English.

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